Are Cybersex and Phone Sex Overrated?

This is another post that doesn't qualify as a "tangent", since it will segue us into Encounter #6. Just in case anyone was wondering!

So, we have already discussed how shower sex is vastly overrated. I now propose two more forms of "sex" (if they really even qualify) that are highly overrated: Cybersex and Phone Sex.

Now to be fair, like shower sex, Cybersex and Phone Sex both sound pretty good in theory. It seems like it would be exciting to email naughty messages back and forth while both parties pleasure themselves. And it seems like it would be even hotter to hear someone's moans over the phone as they touch themselves while listening to your moans as you do the same. They both actually sound quite stimulating!

This is the first problem. For me, anyway. It's masturbation. You're getting yourself off. The other person is getting themselves off. You can't see them or touch them. As far as the visual (sort of) and audio stimulation received from Cyber and Phone Sex respectively.....I can accomplish that with porn. And at least porn gives me a good visual to work with.

And here's the bigger problem....Cybersex and Phone Sex are ultimately a tease. It just makes you want physical contact with the person more. When you often can't have it. Now, might this be fun once in a while during the course of a long term relationship, maybe when one person is away on business while the other is home? Of course! That is not the type of scenario that I'm talking about here though. I'm talking about meeting new people, wanting to have hot, in-person sex with them, but they cannot move past the "safety" and anonymity of cyber or phone encounters. It's as frustrating as hell, and as I've found, more common that you might think. It's like hearing the steak sizzle on the grill, smelling the delicious aroma, and then never getting to taste it. What's the point??

As you will soon learn, I only have myself to blame for getting stuck in some of these scenarios. Remember when we said a good massage was like a gateway drug, and always leads to better things? Well, I thought that perhaps the same principle might apply if I used Cyber/Phone Sex as the selling point on my Craig's List posts.

I was wrong. Details to come......

Tangent #5: Sex Stats

For whatever reason, I enjoy reading about sexual statistics. I guess everyone wants to get a sense of how they stack up against everyone else, and how their relationship fares in comparison to others, right?

Well in the spirit of such curiosity, I present the results of the most current research I could find on random sexual statistics and averages. Some interesting stuff here....


1. Average erect penis length: 6 inches (phew)

2. Average clitoris length: 1 inch (seems a tad high, from my experience)

3. Average person has sex 127 times per year (about once every 3 days....a little more than I would have expected)

4. 48% of women polled have admitted to faking an orgasm ('admitted' being the key word)

5. Unmarried couples living together have sex 147 times per year on average. Married couples....98 times per year (why do people get married???)

6. Average calories burned during 30 minutes of sex: 200  (who needs the gym?)

7. Percent of people who have had sex with a co-worker: 20% (definitely low)

8. Percent of people satisfied with their sex life: 48% (less than half......kinda sad.....)

9. Percent of women reaching orgasm through intercourse: 45%  Through oral sex: 80%  (seems close)

10. 25% of people have had 1 sexual partner......21% of people have had 10 or more (thank goodness I'm in the 2nd group! those poor 25%)

Encounter #5: Smile for the Camera!

Ok, so here is the full story of the videotaping chick.

I had been sending out more posts on CL along the same lines, trying to focus on approaches where I was making it clear that my first priority was her pleasure (which is not entirely untrue....I'm definitely the type that gets turned on by pleasuring others). After encounter #4, I actually had a fairly lengthy drought before a got a response that led to something. But finally I got a response from "Moviechick". I guess the name should have probably clued me in to her intentions!

Anyway, Moviechick writes me and says that she liked my post, and would love for me to pleasure her. Boo yah!! But wait....she ends her response with a Riff Dog-like cliffhanger. "There is one twist that I'd like to add to our activities, if you're brave enough.....". And the email ends there.

So of course I have to know what the hell she's referring to, and write her back immediately. What twist?? Maybe another girl she wants to bring along for a threesome?? Yeah, I know I kinda killed the suspense of this with my previous post, but she replies by saying "I want to record our time together". Um.....ok. Then she also goes into how she would make a copy for me, and make sure to give me verifiable contact information, and how she would never show it to anyone, etc. She ends by saying, "it will be really fun.....trust me!".

Trust her. Some random chick (hopefully a chick, who knows??) who is emailing me in response to a sex post on CL. Didn't exactly give me the most comfortable feeling. So I told her I would  sleep on it, and get back to her the next day with my answer.

I was completely torn. I kept having images of the video turning up on Redtube and every other sex-related video sharing site out there. I could envision some secretly perverted relative seeing the video and being like "Holy shit, that's him!!!!!". Not good thoughts. Obviously if I was married or in a serious relationship at the time, I wouldn't even give it a thought. But at least I didn't have those factors to worry about.

Ultimately I said to myself, fuck it, you only live once. Take a chance. And it would be pretty damn hot....I mean, what woman actually initiates making a video like this? So I told her yes. We made plans for a few days later.

When I arrived at the room, she was waiting. And she was really good looking. Red hair, blue eyes, really curvy body. Yum. She had the video camera out, and showed me where she wanted to put it. She said, "just forget it's there and get lost in the moment".

Which was easier said than done. The sex was pretty good. She gave great oral, was very receptive to being orally pleasured, and was more than happy to fuck as well! (which was a nice change, since oral had been the primary activity on the other encounters to this point). Did the camera make it more exciting? No, not at the time. It made me self conscious. I would keep trying to maneuver myself to avoid my face being in direct sight of the camera. I sped things along faster than I normally go. Good sex that might have been great sex is probably the best way to describe.

The good news? As far as I can tell, the video hasn't shown up on sex sites yet that I know of (and believe me, I've looked....everywhere!). And she did give me my own copy. Which I watch pretty often. And honestly....it's hot. I love watching it. Amazing masturbation material. Like the gift that keeps on giving.

No regrets. Not yet, anyway....I'm sure there are plenty of websites I haven't checked yet!