It started with a post I made offering a sensual massage.
She was the first person to respond. And she responded quickly....within about 15 minutes of the post being published. She seemed very eager, which of course was a good sign.
Her name was Kim. She was in her mid-30's, lived within about a 20 minute drive of where I live. She told me that she had blond hair, green eyes, and stood about 5'5.
And she was married. With a 6 year old son.
When she threw that in, the warning bells started going off in my head. All the potential risks that I described in my previous post starting rushing into my mind. The angry husband. The baggage. The risk of her unhappiness in her marriage (which she confirmed) leading her to want more than just a casual experience with me. It was alot to process. Perhaps if I was also married, I might have been able to rationalize it as an even playing field. But being single, that was certainly not the case. I thought about it long and hard, until finally making a decision. I was going to go for it. You only live once, have to take some risks every now and then. She sounded sexy and eager. I was going to give it a shot.
We met two days later. She was as attractive as she described. I gave her a long, full-body massage. Teasing her between her legs as my fingers brushed by repeatedly. That led to me going down on her. Which led to her going down on me. Which led to us fucking. (Have I finally convinced everyone about the gateway potential of the massage??). Each step of the way was passionate, erotic, and extremely pleasurable. As we laid in bed together afterward, I was thinking to myself that I had made the right decision. It was one of the most fun encounters I have had so far, if not the most fun. What was I worrying about?
Then she said, "when can we do this again"? And that was when the warning bells started again. She wanted more than a one time experience. But how much more?
I would agree to see her again the following week to find out.....
Have to say... I would think just the opposite and assume that a single woman wants more than a married woman from a casual encounter. (More often anyway.) My friends that are married and looking elsewhere, as you mention, are definitely in to NSA. (They definitely aren't looking for another relationship! They already have it and are looking for an outlet. Speaking from experience here too. ;) My friends that aren't married, and espouse wanting NSA, usually end up wanting something else entirely and are often disappointed when things are cut off.
ReplyDeleteWell, I should have known you would leave us hanging. It doesn't surprise me that she wanted to see you again. It depends on whether she is looking for great sex on a regular basis or emotional attachment. I hope for your sake it is the first option. ;)
ReplyDelete*hugs*
Gwen
Mara: I definitely agree that married women would be much more likely to want NSA than a single woman. The problem is that if a married women does happen to want more (which, though less likely, is possible), the risks are much more significant. As you will soon see....
ReplyDeleteGwen: Well, she was kind of looking for both. Don't worry, I won't keep you hanging long :)
NSA has come up. Put maybe she felt FWB would work out once she met you. (Though that's really not safe with a single guy.) With FWB I prefer to post a request and have men respond. That way I'm in charge and remain that way. It's my party and I handle things my way, at my pace.
ReplyDeleteas a single woman seeing both married and single men, I would say that if I just want nsa then the married men are usually a better bet. nsa doesn't have to be one off sex, sex is better with someone you see more than once. The more you get to know each other the better the sex becomes. I tend to have at least 2 or 3 fwb at a time my theory is that I am less likely to become emotionally
ReplyDeleteattached.
My best ever fwb Nigel always insisted that the sex we shared was so good because we liked each other as friends. We are still friends now even though he moved away a couple of years ago.(he loves his wife)
sn xx
Hi SN. I understand what you are saying. NSA in theory should be easier with a married woman than a single woman. It really depends on the married woman's state of mind though. Is she really just looking to fill a sexual void, or is she seeking something more? And just how messy is the marital situation? I guess you have to determine early exactly what scenario you are getting yourself into.
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